That Story With The Stuff
by Lost-in-Thought-15
Summary: Decided to write more humor. Clary is pissed at Jace and seeks revenge... rated T for swearing, randomness, and because i have no idea what coming up next...


Disclaimer: do you really think Cassandra Claire would write something as random as this? Come on.  
also, i dont own harry potter. or harry potter musical. just saying...

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THAT STORY WITH THE STUFF

Last night had been the best night of her existence.

As Clary lay in bed, she thought about how awesomely awesome it had been. The party; the drinks; the music… and a certain boy... she sighed. The bed was so warm and she was so content. Nothing could eff up her mood so long as she didn't have to move or think of anything else for the rest of eternity….

And that's when the sheets were ripped off the bed by some asshole.

"What the fuck, who dares disturb my slumber?" Clary screamed. "It's cold." She began pouting, not bothering to open her eyes to see the evil perpetrator but hoping they would give her back her warmth.

Jace chuckled. Clary could be almost as much of a drama queen as Magnus sometimes. This wasn't one of them, but it could happen, and it was damn funny, too. He just needed to irritate the poor girl a little more. "The most supermegafoxyawesomehot person in the universe. No big. Just thought I'd wake you up in order to check me out, I know it's a big deal for you so you could now shower me in thanks."

There was a moment of silence as Clary opened her eyes and stared at him with a mixture of shock, annoyance, and downright fury. "Jace Lightwood, I swear to god, I will create a rune that will make someone throw you off a bridge and into a lake of infuri if you don't PISS OFF."

"Is that really the best way to talk to your stunningly attractive boyfriend?"

"Go jump in a poisoned lake."

Jace laughed. "But Clary," he wined, dragging out her name. "I wanted to train, and what better way than to teach you. Alec is out with Magnus anyways and I don't want to fight Izzy. I don't fight girls."

Clary stared at him from her still sleepy, irritated eyes. "I'm a girl."

"Yes," he said. "But with you, its foreplay." Queue egotistical wink.

Clary, now even more annoyed than she had been previously, picked up her pillow and threw it at Jaces' head. "You're an egotistical douchebag. I don't know why I had to fall in love with you."

"Because it's so charming baby."

"Don't call me baby."

"What, I like it; it's a cute pet name."

"Up yours Lightwood."

"Oh, we've come to last names now."

Clary sat up. "What do you want Jace?"

"To practice. I said that before, didn't i?"

Clary glared at him.

"Okay, fine, I want breakfast."

More glaring.

"Okay, okay, I wanted to irritate you so that I could post it on Facebook."

There was a dead silence as Clary's eyes widened to the size of a chacram. And then—

"YOU'RE FILMING THIS?"

"Well, ya. Cant pit it on Facebook without a video, can i?" he said with fake innocence.

Clary looked abut ready to castrate him. "Where's the camera? Tell me, or I will end you!"

"Awe, baby, don't be like that."

Throwing off the covers, Clary ran at Jace. "That's it!"

Jace, being considerably faster than Clary due to his 'years of superior training and general awesomeness,' dashed into the hallway before his girlfriend could grab hold of any part of him (that's what she said, lawl… never mind, I'm awful). As he ran, he heard Clary swearing and cursing him in such a fluent and seamless way that made it seem as though they did this every day, which they didn't. Jace liked to switch things up, so usually he just pissed her off in some other inventive way about once a week. No big.

Eventually,when he was just out of Clary's sight, Jace found himself passing the kitchen, where Isabelle was brewing another deadly concoction that would probably kill everyone and their grandma if it was even inhaled for any amount of time. Izzy was still alive because she was using some kind of totally awesome fairly charm or something that kept one from dying of food poisoning via inhalation. Or something. The point was, She was still alive, and making an evil deadly toxic sludge for breakfast. Back to the story.

Looking up from her evil deadly toxic sludge breakfast, Isabelle beckoned Jace into the kitchen. "What did you do this time Jace?"

"I filmed Clary in one of her Diva Moods again," he said, with a devious smile plastered to his face.

"You are a douchebag." Isabelle said it without emotion, in part because she was bored of this happening every week and also in part because she knew it would bounce right off him like every other insult thrown his way. Also, this recipe was really hard to follow. Stuff written in ancient Chinese code was not only hard to decipher, but easy to get wrong.

"Hey, that's what Clary said too! She is spending way too much time around you…"

"No, I think she's probably spending too much time around you, you douchebag."

There was a silence as Isabelle returned to stirring whatever was bubbling in the pot like the sinister brew in the three witches' caldron in Hamlet. Jace wondered what she did to make edible food into something as eerie and disgusting as what appeared. One time Jace watched her make her food, and when she had only put in bananas, sugar, some fruit juice, and some peanut butter, it turned green and began to smoke. Jace was pretty sure there was an art to what she was doing, but he wasn't exactly sure what the name of it would be.

"How far behind was she?"

Jace looked up from his internal monologue and frowned. "Hmm?"

Isabelle rolled her eyes. "Clary. How far behind you was she when you were booting it out of her room?"

"Not that far. How long have I been standing here? About five minutes? She couldn't have been that far back."

"Oh," Izzy said. "She's probably joining up with Church to get revenge on you. Clary's cool like that."

Jace scoffed. "Puh-lease. Church loves me. Why would he help Clary with her far-fetched revenge schemes? Besides, what would they do? Tie me to a chair and cover me in glitter?"

There was an awkward silence while Jace recalled that awful experience.

"There is absolutely nothing she could do that would be worse than that. So it's cool."

OR IS IT?

:::

I am evil. You must hate me. But I love my cliffies, even if this fic is going to be weird and annoying and probably not as good as Confused turned out. I don't even really have a story for this one; I'm just making it up as I go along. So ya. No Judging.

Naw, judge all you want. It's cool.

NEXT TIME:  
What happened last night?  
What's Clary up to?  
Will Church be involved?  
What is Isabelle making?  
How Does Izzy make such gross food?  
And what exactly is a Hufflepuff, anyways?

Also, if you have any suggestions as to where the hell this could go, please send in a review and tell me, cause i HAVE NO CLUE! i just started writing and i dont know where i'm going.


End file.
